IS IT REALLY HIS FAULT

As far as I know, the general belief is that in every relationship, the man does far less than a woman to make it work; in a survey I recently conducted, 80% of people agreed that men do next to nothing in keeping a relationship and specifically blame the men for broken relationships and marriages. But is this really true? Is it really his fault??

The most recent trend is women coming out of failed marriages to tell the media stories of how bad the marriage was with all the problems being caused by the man while she, well, she is saint Mary the mother of Christ with absolute zero faults!

I know that some men can be, should I say, demons?! And this article is not meant to support any form of violence and cheating, to a lesser extent. But women, especially those of us from the “new generation”, are we really that perfect?

All our lives, we have been given lessons, directly and indirectly on how to keep a man, how to run your home, how to organize a family; we are given guidelines on how to live as a woman – education, decent living, a good career & catching you a good man whom you can settle down and reproduce with. We grow up having our fathers and brothers protect us jealously. But who protects our brothers?

I have only one brother, and I don’t remember my mother calling him into her room and talking to him at length about those things she talks to my sisters and I about. I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but well…*roll eyes*….. See, all he ever got was “you have to be a man” - career talks & life lessons which had absolutely nothing to do with keeping a woman! On relationships, I think all he ever got was the occasional “is that how you will treat your wife in future?” In summary, all these men get is “you have to succeed in life so you can take care of your family”; but how do you take care of your family? They move on in life with examples they get from their fathers, but was his father the perfect husband? Or did he even grow up with a father?

I feel like why many relationships and marriages fail is that we expect too much from the men. We expect him to spoil and pamper us; we want our men to give us undivided attention. We make it difficult for them to please us (feminism extremists please this doesn’t concern you oh!); personally I expect the most outrageous level of care and attention from my man; for example, if he doesn’t call me up to the specified number of times in a day, all hell breaks loose; If my period starts when I am at his apartment, I expect him to drop everything he is doing that day and babysit me; the list goes on and on!

When he does even the slightest wrong, something that shouldn’t cause a glitch, you will rain down hail and brimstone while he is supposed to keep quiet and listen to you nag. Of course he can’t cry and play the victim like you do, so he has to sit still and absorb it. You ignore him for days but if he yells at you or even gets slightly angry, he is wrong.

You are not interested in football, but you expect him to have the super power to understand the different ranges of color and to be able to tell you what jewelry goes with what kind of dress?!

Now the thing is, a couple of women have it all figured out and before you know it, you nag and ignore your man into another woman’s arms. She knows he needs attention; she knows he also wants to be pampered; she starts off as his friend, paying close attention to the little things you haven’t noticed about him, she is ready to sit and listen to him talk about the things he can’t tell you; when all these go on for a couple of weeks, emotions are bound to develop and before you know it, he cheats on you and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it except cry foul and walk away!

Women need to understand that men are not made of different humors than we are and we need to cut them slack! You need to make it easy for your man to love you and stay with you!

Cheers!