WHEN LOVE RUNS OUT OF SHAPE, WHO IS TO BLAME? - A SINGLE MAN'S VIEW

 (This is one topic, women won't want to talk or hear about.)

THE EASY PART

Some say that attraction after marriage has nothing to do with how your spouse looks. Yes he can develop pot belly and she does not need to watch her weight or even wear makeup anymore. Why? You are now one i.e you stuck... forever. But is this how it really works? I'm sure married persons are saying NO. Every man wants his wife to look gorgeous not just to him but to the rest of the world. It's always that way until the second year of marriage when the baby comes.

Every woman is beautiful regardless of their skin colour, shape or size (even though many Nigerians would not agree with the skin colour part). However, every man has his own taste, his own definition of how he prefers his eba. Meaning a woman could be perceived to not look beautiful by a man if she does not poses the physical qualities he desires. Are we together? Meaning technically we are all ugly to persons who have different physical preferences than what we poses. Expression of such opinion is discrimination. So we look past the physical and find another reason to still love the person. If you do not agree with what I have said so far STOP, GIVE YOURSELF A KNOCK, READ FROM THE TOP.

Attraction is not only physical, yeah we all know that. Many factors sum up to make us attracted to one another. Character plays a major role, lifestyle, mindset, and even gestures. If you ask me, the physical look has the biggest share. Yes the inside body keeps us alive by the outside is the life itself.

THE CONFUSING PART:
Since we now agree that people can actually look ugly, here is a big question... but first if you are fat when he marries you, you are safe. Your husband married you because he loves the curves... If you are slim, there are two things involved: either you will stay the way he likes you or you would blow up (In Basket Mouth's voice). At this point one major factor is terminated. We still have the inner factors to sustain his love for you so no worries. Unconfirmed statistics suggest that 8 out of 10 women would get out of shape within the first five years of marriage so you are not alone. But then has a vital part of the relationship disappeared with the shape? I'm not married I would not know but then I'd say yes. The man would have to adjust himself mentally to accommodate the kind of woman he once saw as unattractive to him.

Okay that's probably how the man sees it but how does the woman who carried that baby for almost 7 months (cos the first two months she did not really carry anything) feel? Especially a woman who has always been a model before marriage. Many women feel unhappy when they are out of shape... They feel insecure and unattractive but is it a thing for a wife to worry or even cry about? Afterall you are already joined forever and no other man has any business how you look. Besides he has not complained maybe because he is engrossed in the way the new baby smiles. So nothing to worry about. Yes he does not take me out much anymore and the steam in the other room is low but after all he did this to me. Well... I really don't know how women feel I'm just insinuating.

I know men that can never date a skinny girl and I also know men that would never date a fat (or big if you like) girl. The scary part is one day waking up beside the girl you would never have married. Are many men just hanging in there? Are women waking up everyday and starring at themselves in a mirror wondering if they are still loved? With the way slim tea is selling I would think so. Who is to blame when fat makes love run out of shape?

By IDY.